his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
