I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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