This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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