cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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