I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
