yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
