Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
