if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
