He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
