I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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