3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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