Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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