are you so shy because you have an std?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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