What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
