I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
