I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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