New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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