It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
