is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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