i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize