talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
