Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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