if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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