im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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