are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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