I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
