So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
