Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
