I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
