You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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