it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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