So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
