so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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