i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
