you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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