We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
