Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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