it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
