My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
