I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
