the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
