haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize