what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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