i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
