i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
