I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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