So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
