I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
