It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
