you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
