he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
