i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
