At least make sure they are 18
Why
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
