If i come over, it means nothing
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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