Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
