Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
