he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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