i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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