the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
