rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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